A Bouncer at the Chocolate Bar Bites Off More Than He Can Chew.

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I tell ya.

Ya sure gotta watch.

This town gets ta be a different place after dark…chocolate. I try an keep things calm round this place but it’s battle I tell ya. There’s always some varmints out there tryin ta smuggle stuff into this here saloon…specially one woman in particular.

The young woman standin in front of me right now as a matter of fact. She’s a good looker an all but bein good at lookin around don’t make ya a good woman. She’s a varmint an my job is ta do somethin bout varmints.

I tear the suitcase from her pale white hands an give it a good shake. An just as I figured, walnuts start pourin outta that case…yeah, I know a nutcase when I see one. “What do ya think yer doin? We don’t need any more nuts in this here saloon, we’re full up as it is”, I yell. With that I bounce that nut case and the young woman carryin it from our Chocolate Bar.

That woman is an smooth one though I tell ya, word on the street is she’s kin of Kit Carson…Kit Kat everyone calls ’er round these parts. She starts lookin like she’s gonna start arguin with me but I know women…they complain ya don’t listen to’em but then they don’t stop talkin long enough for a fella ta do anythin but listen ta em. I figure I better get the jump on her…so I start yakkin before she can get goin.

“I hate ta do this ta ya…but we like ta keep things clean here in this Chocolate Bar. Yer a good looker, why don’t ya go look round town…there’s a lotta good places fer ya ta do some good lookin…who knows, maybe the Mars Bar cross town will let ya look around in there. They’re a pretty spaced out bunch.”

But that Kit Kat woman don’t listen what I’m sayin, she just flounces her long blonde hair, grins like the varmint she is and says, “bite me.” An I tell ya…I really shouldn’t be sayin this…but I decide right then an there I want a piece of that action…so, I ask Kit Kat if she might be interested in gettin hitched. An ya know what…she is…she runs down ta that there hitchin post, hitches her wagon up ta a team of horses an gallops off outta town. Tell ya what…she may think she can run off, but I’m gonna track ‘er down. I’m startin ta think that I’d rather have a Kit Kat than a bouncin job at this borin old chocolate bar…

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A collection of my blog posts. Includes a healthy helping of humor, poetry and essays.

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