The Desperate Battle for the Universe! Or Maybe Just Against Those Who Don’t Click With the Clique…


Small Trouble Maker at Large!

Mister Blick Doesn’t Click With Clique!

As these lurid headlines testify, our community faced a crisis of unimaginable proportions. The existence of our sacred clique was being threatened! Someone didn’t fit in with us! I had to take action!

As part of my community defence plan I decided that the only thing to do was to refuse to speak to that arrogant so and so any longer. I knew that not being given the opportunity to listen to my many insights would be severe punishment for them but desperate times call for desperate measures.

Strangely enough, despite my heroic efforts, the threat facing our clique only grew in its evil. One terrible day, I overheard that so and so say that if I was going to talk like that, they were glad I didn’t speak to them anymore. In fact, that so and so actually said that after I quit complaining to them all the time they had never been happier!

In its 356 year history, our clique had never faced such a crisis! Even our secret weapon, shunning, had failed to achieve the necessary levels of shame in the outsider. What kind of fiend was this?

What could I do to fight his evil?

In these terrible times I realized that I needed to change my strategy. It was clear that I was only feeding the beast, rewarding it by refusing to speak to it. After much thought and consideration, I decided that under the circumstances a better punishment would be to start talking to them again.

However, even this didn’t resolve the crisis, not by a long shot! After I had talked to that so and so for awhile, I actually started realize that we had a few things in common.

The temptation to get along with them became tremendous! Yet, I gritted my gritty yellow teeth and resisted the call of that sinister siren of reason. The future of our clique depended on my superior attitude.

The ancient rules were clear! The only people who click with our clique are those who eat Klick! Other sandwich meats just weren’t acceptable! I needed to be strong, if not for myself, for the future of our little community!

I am better than this…I am better than everyone…were the mantras I repeated to myself in an effort to achieve the necessary inner turmoil I needed to continue to fight. Still, discouragement was a constant struggle. I could see that my desperate efforts were having little impact on our enemy.

The final blow came when Mister Blick released that explosive bombshell that turned all my schemes to nothing. “Why are you being like this? I don’t want to be in your stupid club anyway.” After the dust cleared on this revelation…I fell to my knees under the crushing weight of defeat. Bitter tears dribbled down my cheeks as I understood the horrible reality that I could actually be friends with someone outside the clique of those who eat only Klick.

I had failed.

I had come to believe the lie that even though other people preferred different sandwich meats than I did, I could still treat them decently.

With that realization, the fate of our ancient fraternity was sealed.

The enemy had won.


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