The Journey From Party Animal to Philosopher (It Was Just a Matter of Time)

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“Time is precious and must not be wasted!”

Yep, that’s all the efficiency expert said before running off-stage and cashing his cheque for 100,000 dollars. What can I say, he was a very efficient efficiency expert.

Well, anyhoo, it may have been a short talk but it sure was reality check for me. I was always a party animal but clearly that lifestyle wasted far too much time. I decided then and there that I better try his advice before I let too much more time pass me by.

On Friday night, rather than spend all night gambling and have nothing to show for it, I ran into the casino, threw my wallet on the blackjack table and ran back out again. Still ended up with nothing in the end…but it took 5 minutes to get there instead of 5 hours. Then, I ran into the nearest night club, pounded my head against the concrete wall until I had a headache, and ran home. Some say this was stupid, but consider, it could’ve taken me until three in the morning to get to get an aching head like this…and by banging my head this way it only took me 7.25 minutes to get a headache.

Indeed, I was well on my way, I was achieving my goal of being more efficient. The rewards weren’t long in coming either. I soon found I had gained more free time for my family…I had more time to do the things I always wanted to do…I had time to volunteer for worthy causes. My life had indeed changed for the better!

I even had time to ponder the greater questions in life, such as… what do you do when you ask a girl for a date and gives you a dried fig instead? If a person says, the truth is, there is no absolute truth, doesn’t it naturally follow that their truth claim that there is absolutely no truth, is itself not true? And of course the age old question…what do you do when you get a reality cheque and it bounces?

Hmmm…so many questions…so little time…

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