The Ridiculous Adventures of Herman and Melvin. Pt.0. Prologue.

smilies-bank-sit-rest-160739“Friend. Have you ever noticed that your friends are beneath you? Would you like to be alone? Why not try practicing the ancient art of vanity? Buy the best-selling book by world renowned self-help expert Yohan P. Ostermann, The Power of Self and Only Yourself. Millions have tried vanity, why not you? Act now and receive as an added bonus…”
I walked over to the television and pushed the off button. I couldn’t stand stupid commercials for even stupider products.
“We’re interested in you and…”
“I’m glad to hear that.” I swiveled to face the Professor as I straightened my blue silk tie. “I’m not particularly interested in you though. Sorry.”
“You shouldn’t be sorry.” The bald-headed Professor was glaring at me. “What you should be is interested in is…” He coughed into his hand. “Is being a lot more serious about this project than you have been.” His thin lips turned down into a frown. “Quite frankly, I wouldn’t attempt this experiment if I were you.”
“Why not? I’ve heard that there was the potential of great progress here. If we crack these characters we could be in on a major breakthrough to world peace and mental health. Isn’t that
something your colleagues at the U.N. are always going on about?”
“That’s just the point! This town your going to is the…the…the…” The Professor sputtered to a halt then regained his steam. “what I’m trying to say is, that town is home to the worst lunatics in the country. I think most of our celebrities and politicians come from there. I’m scared that if you go down to a place like that…”
“Bah! It can’t be that bad! I’ve dealt with crazy situations before. I’ve worked in government after all. I’ve been trained by the best psychology teachers in the business. I’m sure I can deal with anything that comes up.”
“Maybe so…but I don’t think your ready for a place like this…” The Professor stared up at me with his big brown eyes. “But, I can’t stop you.” He rose from the couch where he sat and shook my hand.
“Good luck to you and your family. I hope things turn out better than I expect they will. Like I said, I’ll be by with the U.N. delegation in a few months to check on your progress.”
“Don’t worry. I’ve got everything under control. I believe this will prove to be an interesting study of logic and reason. I’ll be sure to keep notes so that this case can be studied in the
years to come.”
“Indeed.” The Professor sank his teeth into a bran muffin. He chewed for a moment and then swallowed hard. “That should be fascinating reading.” He settled his large rear quarters upon the comfortable couch once again. “While you’re up there anyway…can you bring me that coffee pot? It’s sitting on the desk there and I don’t feel like getting up again.” The professor sighed as if the heaviness of the world was weighing upon him. “Goodness me, today has been a long day.”
“Yes it has. Twenty-four hours as usual.” I chuckled to myself as I obeyed the request of my longtime mentor. Little did I realize the horrors that were to come…to be continued.


The prologue to an original new series. Stay tuned for the next chapter in this story.



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