Press Release: Canada Passes Much Needed Legislation to Battle Season Change.

Recent scientific studies have clearly shown that households that do not regularly change their light bulbs use much less electricity than households that do regularly change their light bulbs. During extensive experiments in Mrs. Crook’s third grade science class, seasons were also shown to function much like light bulbs. Therefore, due to the increasing costs of regularly changing seasons, the Government of Canada passed legislation today to immediately revert to a one season year, namely winter. “The world needs at least one cool country and these new anti-season change measures will help Canada to remain the coolest country on Earth,” said Professor Herbert Finkelstein from his beach house in Nassau, Bahamas. “Canadian citizens will have to make sacrifices to be sure, but then, one must always make sacrifices to be cool.” Critics slammed the new anti-season change bill as a “snow job”, and,”sure to put a chill on spring development efforts”, but the Government pooh poohed these allegations as partisan fear mongering and “out of sync with the scientific reality and certainty of a perpetual winter.”